Courage doesn’t always roar, sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying I will try again tomorrow.
I saw the above quote on a friend’s facebook page tonight and it really hit me hard. The past two weeks have been very hard. I have felt quite defeated and very alone. At times I feel as if it doesn’t matter what I do – it’s two steps forward one step back. No matter what gains I make, the losses seem to outweigh the wins. It’s completely tiring.
I’ve been really struggling to understand where I am at. My trainer asked me today if I realized how strong I was. I had to be honest and say not usually. I am catching glimpses of how strong I am getting physically. I have range of motion back in my arm, my nerve damage feels less noticeable when I am working out and I am loving my Art of Strength training. But emotionally I still feel broken and unusable. I feel as if I am that ugly broken pitcher that’s been put back together with glue but not one wants to use it but they also don’t want to get rid of it. I am just there. It’s an odd word picture but I continually see myself as that broken pitcher. The scars will always be there. Some days they literally do not bother me. Today they do.
But the author of the above quote is right. I am strong physically and emotionally and spiritually. I will make it. Nothing is impossible. Even if my goal seems so very far away and barely visible a times, it’s still there reminding me where I need to get to. In the distance yes – but still visible, thus attainable. I didn’t make it today but I will try again tomorrow.
Thank you Lord for another chance tomorrow.